A Dinner Date With The Boss

Note: I recently told this story about my older son at his wedding reception on 13/11/2010 - went down very well! My second son has an equally embarrassing story (to his parent that is!) which ranks alongside the "wallpaper story - which is affectionately known as the "Clitoris Story" but unfortunately not one I could tell at his reception when he got married....I have actually written about this experience at http://hubpages.com/hub/My-Son---Monty-Pythons-The-Meaning-of-Life.

Quite some time ago when my elder son was about five years old and my second son five months old and still in a bassinet, we were invited out to dinner by my then husband's boss.

Dinner was to be at their newish house which had been freshly painted and wall papered from here to breakfast.

They were a childless English couple who in fact didn't appear to want to have any little blessings left at their house by the community stork.

As we had only just moved to this largish N.S.W. town we didn't know anyone who could babysit the children so we had to ask the new boss if we could bring them with us. It was not a decision that we undertook lightly but needs must - dinner with the boss was an invitation we felt unable to refuse!

Now for those of you who know the vagaries of children would completely understand that you can never trust them to behave perfectly at all times. Some days are brilliant and others just not so good.

We all arrived at the pre-determined time where the boss's wife asked us to take our little dears through to the newly decorated room just off the dining room where a tall cot had been placed right against the wall behind the door; especially prepared for our five year old plus a space had been organised for the baby's carry cot. This was extremely kind of them but I was a bit nervous because my older son although a polite and sweet boy, was not known for going to sleep easily. He was one of those children who after being put to bed could get up - on all sorts of pretexts - at least six times . "I need a drink of water" was the all out favourite followed closely by "I'm lonely", "Can you read read me a story?" "Can I have another ten minutes, pleaeeeeese?" "Can I stay up for a bit - promise I won't make a noise" usually followed by an almighty crash of some description....

To be honest before we got to this house we had worded our older son up about how really important it was for him to be good and not get out of bed. He was to be nice and quiet and not disturb us at table. Then quite shamelessly; we bribed him with ice cream the next day should he stay in his bed and not get up a zillion times.

The baby usually slept through everything - didn't stir - didn't cry until he was hungry and then he would certainly make his presence known...so this particular night there was no problem with him - into the cot he went and off to sleep - terrific! one down and one to go .....

Our older son went to bed like a lamb; he was obviously bearing in mind our promise of ice cream the next day; his really good behaviour based on the "being good" principle. We were so thrilled with the non- appearances that we didn't worry about what he could have been doing - just assumed he had gone to sleep. Dessert arrived and I thought we should check out the little angels so I leaned across to my then husband and asked him to take a look at the children as they had been unusually quiet....

Well...my normally olive- skinned husband came back looking incredibly pale, a shadow of his former self, white with shock!! - very quietly he asked me in a low voice to go take a look at what our boy had been assiduously occupying himself with whilst we had been dining with his boss.

I got up and went into the room closely followed by the owners of this house; and I very nearly died from the sheer enormity of what he had managed to achieve in the space of time between sitting down to dinner and the serving of dessert .....the little cherub had carefully picked off all the wallpaper around his cot. The whole lot - right back to the wall - in a neat semi-circle up to where those busy little fingers could just reach!

We apologised profusely, often...offered to replace the wallpaper; offered to put more wallpaper up for them...all to no avail - it was one of my most embarrassing situations - totally awful really.....and you know what, they never did ask us back - although I can't think why not! I can only hope we didn't put them off parenthood for ever.

copyright: a.a.gallagher: april 2009

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